Posted in Family & Friends on May 10th, 2010

CAREGIVING: Caregiver to caregiver for elder care help

A caregiver support network consisting of other caregivers is a life saver.

Elder care  can be very exhausting and until governments open up Caregiver Resource Centers, Family Caregivers must rely on other Family Caregivers.

Caregivers find themselves isolated from family and friends who do not understand the daily grind of family caregiving for an elderly relative. Only a seasoned caregiver will understand the hardships and loneliness caregivers endure.

For the first time in our history, our elder family members are living longer, resulting in society to cope with the added financial and heartfelt responsibility caring for an elderly loved one. As our population ages over the next twenty-five years, more and more family members will have to become skilled in geriatric health care.

Society must advocate for Caregiver Resource Centers, specialized caregiver centers which specializes in senior health care. Until then, caregivers must seek out other caregivers in their community to (1) learn and specialize in the care of their elderly loved one, (2) learn what is offered in their community, (3) connect with other caregivers to gain strength, (4) prevent from becoming isolated, (5) create a support network to fall back on in case of an emergency.

Watch for other Family Caregivers in your neighborhood, medical centers and local grocery stores. Make sure you introduce yourself to others caregivers. I always have on hand personal-business cards to give out to people I meet. Then take the time to talk with other caregivers, as this will start the momentum of gaining valuable information with in your community to help make your work load easier.

Start up a Caregiver group by contacting your local newspaper and they will help you for free to get the word out to other caregivers. Or post memos or business cards on bulletin boards in your area. Let other caregivers know to spread the word – Caregivers must connect with other caregivers.

Note of caution, Some caregivers of spouses are very lonely and are seeking other Family Caregivers who understand the hardship they cope with on a daily basis and are also reaching out for an intimate relationship. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as some spouses have been caregivers for many years and the loneliness is very painful. It is not uncommon for two Family Caregivers who care for ill spouses to become close. These relationships are kept secret from family members and friends for fear of being criticized. Always remembers your boundaries and if you do not feel comfortable with someone’s advances, just politely let them know how you feel.

The Internet is filled with caregiver training, and group sessions, but nothing beats first hand experience of another Family Caregiver. Find your mentors and learn as much as you can from this person. This will also diminish the feeling of isolation.

It takes a village to care for a loved one and each village needs a school to learn about eldercare, a gathering place to connect with other caregivers, and a place called sanctuary where a family caregiver can go to rest and regain strength.

Create your own care-village to include other family members to share the work load and to understand what it takes to care for a loved one. Invite other caregivers into your village to learn, share and help each other. Read as much as you can to learn skills to make caregiving easier.  Then connect with other caregivers and use your knowledge as a stepping stone to gain even more knowledge.

Lean on other caregivers who understand, so on the days you feel you can’t go on, they will provide strength. You must also create boundaries so that you do not take on the burdens of others family caregivers who are having a difficult time. This also means not to over burden others with your worries.

Create a sanctuary, a place within your home or mind or a project such as a hobby or even a book that you may disappear into to forget the rest of the world and all the problems you must deal with. Teach family and friends to respect your sanctuary time so you may replenish your energy to carry on. Teach the benefits of sanctuary to other caregivers so they may regain their strength to carry on.

Knowledge is powerful. Strength in numbers is powerful. No matter how tired you are with all your responsibility caring for your loved one, always connect with other caregivers to help regain your momentum. Never carry your burden alone and only share with others who can understand your burden. With that you will gain strength.

SUMMARY:

FAMILY CAREGIVER – You are the Family Caregiver to a loved one in need.

ELDER CARE – A responsibility taken on by a family member to care for a loved one.

CAREGIVER HELP – Care givers must never take on the burden of care giving alone and should seek help when ever possible.

CAREGIVER SUPPORT NETWORK – A group of people to provide support to caregivers.

ELDER-CARE CENTERS – We must advocate governments to open up Caregiver Resource Centers to help family members with the responsibility of caregiving. 

GERIATRICS – Care for the elderly.

GAIN STRENGTH – Always connect with other caregivers to keep up your strength to carry on.

LONELINESS – When you take on the responsibility of Caregiver overwhelming feelings of loneliness can take over.

ISOLATION – When feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and depressed, isolation can take over.

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